Have you ever worn a mask?
Do you look for others to validate who you are as a person? Does their opinion of you determine your happiness? Know that, you’re not alone!
In 2018 I compiled a book collaboration called Diary of a People Pleaser! The co-authors, shared how they wore masks and became what friends, family, and the world wanted them to come to be.
I wore a mask and pretended to be a completely different people all the time, thinking this was happiness. Assuming making everyone happy would make me feel loved and valuable, that was a lie! Conforming to others’ expectations or ideas of who you should be; takes away living a life of freedom and stops one from becoming whom you’re created to become. You can only be the best version of yourself when you are true to yourself.
She pretended to be someone else.
When I was pretending to be someone I was not, I had to keep up the ruse endlessly to fulfill others’ expectations of me and sought to fill a void in my life, and rejection and abandonment was what created a people pleaser.
Wearing different masks made me feel important, like an actress playing different roles. The real me buried inside somewhere, waiting to come out and express myself! Over the years, my personality hid in a trunk full of the finest China. I allowed people’s endless expectations and thoughts about me to be my number one priority. I began to draw inaccurate conclusions about myself; my beliefs became others’ beliefs of who I am. But it was all a façade, and I had to find myself to be happy and unlearn all those things I presumed to be true about myself.
Wake up call.
One day it was like the alarm going off on a cell phone.I received the scariest and biggest wake-up call of my life!The phone call that no one ever wants to receive! “Your mother has passed away.” Lost and alone, I stopped and looked at myself in the mirror; the mask began to shatter.
It was time for a new journey called healing and getting to know the real me. I had to learn self-acceptance and love.One of the first steps was to begin to like myself, flaws and all! Babies are excited and scared when they start walking. Taking the first steps of walking down the path of self-love was scary. There were many things I learned and still learning.
We are not put on this earth to live life to please others. God has created us for His glory, pleasure, and purpose. It was time for me to stop worrying about pleasing others and get in touch with my inner identity. Asking God for forgiveness, and I had to forgive myself and others. Forgiveness hasn’t been an easy task.
A New Journey.
I prayed for God to show me who the real me is!I began to listen to God’s quiet voice, which directed me to Psalm 139: verse fourteen states: “For I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” The only barrier that stands in the way between you and your true self is your preconceived notions about your identity.
Now is the time to break that barrier and see how your life unfolds to become the most beautiful creation that God has ever made. Beloved, remember you are the apple of God’s eye! Pay attention to the inner voice of The Holy Spirit!Walking this path will not be trouble-free; no matter what, the earth will keep spinning, and people will keep judging you.
Setting boundaries is crucial.
Self-acceptance is the first step towards self-improvement.Setting boundaries is crucial.”NO” is a complete sentence.Analyze when someone asks you for something or to do something for them. Be assured you’re doing things for others because you want to, not to please others. Never allow others to decide who you are!Choose yourself and your happiness above conforming yourself to please others.
#SelfLove #Empowerment #SelfAwareness #Confidence